Struggle with Time Management? Personal Boundaries are Your Answer

Multiple clients have been struggling with setting boundaries for themselves recently. It is something I have struggled with over the years as well. For example, how many times do you go to an event simply because someone asked you to and you feel bad about saying no? We feel guilty if we say no, but then we are resentful when we end up going when we didn’t want to. This quote by Brene Brown, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others” describes that situation well.

Isn’t it better to choose the things that you want to do? The point is to choose your priorities, wants and needs first. This isn’t being selfish; it is about choosing the things that bring you joy and happiness in your life. Why is that wrong? We seem to focus on what everyone else thinks so much that we stop thinking about what we want.

Pay attention to the reaction that you have when the next person asks you to do something. It will either be a feeling of excitement or avoidance. Trust that and respond that you are excited to go, or you have other plans. It can be as simple as that without any other explanation needed. Sometimes we get into our own head and feel that we need to rationalize our decisions to others. We don’t need to do that at all. These are our boundaries and we get to decide how to manage them.

Setting boundaries for your time is one thing but being able to maintain them is another. Keeping your boundaries can be a challenge when there are so many things that need your attention. There always seems to be more things to do than you have time for. Maintaining boundaries is hard for those who have trouble saying no to other people. This is especially true because you don’t want to disappoint those who need your help or let them down.

Even though those things are all true, you still need to do what is right for you. There is a quote that says “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.” This is so true when it comes to all that is being asked of you. You will need to find ways to delineate what is important to do and what is just a nice to have. You only have so much time and you need to guard it especially when it is causing you to override a boundary that you have set for yourself.

Ask yourself some questions to determine whether to let the request override your boundary:

• Does it align with your goals?
• How does it measure up to your list of personal or professional priorities?
• Do you really want to do it?
• Are you just being nice or avoiding confrontation by doing it when you don’t really want to?

I used to just give away my time without considering the impact it would have on what I needed to do. I realized that by doing that I was only hurting myself. Now I maintain my time so that no one can cross my boundaries without my permission. The decision is mine whether to let others take the time that I have reserved, and I get to make the choice whether to let others take that time or not. It is so much more empowering to be able to make that choice though.

Do you have established boundaries for your time? Try setting some up some boundaries for yourself and ensure that you are maintaining them. You will find that you may have a lot more time than you think!

For more great leadership and personal development tips, visit our blog at https://susanmbarber.com/creating-leadership-connections/

Susan M Barber, President of Susan M Barber Coaching & Consulting, LLC, works with individuals, teams and organizations to build skills that leaders need to attain breakthrough results. Her passion for coaching and leadership development is driven by seeing the transformation of leaders as they reach far beyond their own ideas of success. She continues to drive custom programs for groups that want to make changes in their careers to become more powerful leaders.