Do This If You’re Feeling Undervalued
Every single day I meet with people who feel like they aren’t enough. They have thoughts running through their heads that tell them other people are better, smarter, and know more.
They may recognize that these thoughts are happening, but they don’t understand how these thoughts impact their behavior.
This kind of thinking impacts everything that they do.
They hold themselves back and play small and these thoughts prevent them from reaching their potential.
There can be many reasons why people feel like they aren’t valued, leading to the thoughts that they aren’t enough. How this shows up can vary from person to person. Here are some possible explanations:
Social Comparison: People often compare themselves to others, especially on social media, and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they perceive themselves as not measuring up to others.
Expectations: If people have unrealistic expectations of themselves or others, they may feel disappointed when those expectations are not met, which can lead to feelings of being undervalued.
Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk, or how people talk to themselves in their minds, can be very damaging. If someone constantly criticizes themselves and focuses on their flaws, it can contribute to feelings of inadequacy.
Past Trauma: Past experiences of rejection, criticism, or failure can lead people to believe that they are not good enough or that they don’t deserve happiness or success. Someone may have laughed at them or criticized them when they presented in school. Now even as an adult when they have to present that same feeling is re-triggered again.
Although feeling like you’re not enough is a common experience, please know that it is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. It’s important to remember that feeling valued is subjective, and what makes one person feel valued may not be the same for another person.
Be aware of what your thoughts are and ask yourself if they are helping you or holding you back.
If You’re Feeling Undervalued: Start To Build Trust In Yourself
Trusting yourself as a leader is an important part of personal development and self-growth. Learning how to do this for yourself is a game changer. You no longer spend so much time comparing yourself to others. You simply listen to yourself, gather any additional input that you need, and make a decision. It helps you to move faster and be so much more confident.
Here Are A Few Things That Can Be Helpful When It Comes To Building Your Own Self-Trust:
Practice self-awareness and reflection
To trust yourself, you need to have a clear understanding of who you are, what you value, and what you stand for. This requires self-awareness, which can be developed through introspection, mindfulness, and reflection. Take time to reflect on your experiences, decisions, and actions. Ask yourself what you did well, what you could have done differently, and what you learned from the experience. This will help you develop self-awareness and make more informed decisions in the future.
Be honest with yourself
Honesty is an essential component of self-trust. It’s important to be honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. When you’re honest with yourself, you can make better decisions that align with your values and goals. Check in with yourself to see if you are operating from a past belief or assumption, so you can do something different. Acknowledge your mistakes, but also recognize your successes and accomplishments.
Keep your promises
One of the best ways to build self-trust is to keep your promises. When you make a commitment to yourself, follow through on it. This can be as simple as setting a goal and working towards it like committing to go to the gym each day. It may be more complex where you need to make a major life change or a significant life decision. Slow down, listen to yourself, and then follow through. Keeping your promises builds self-trust and reinforces your ability to rely on yourself. Celebrate your successes along the way, and be patient with yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Learn from your mistakes
When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Clean up any “messes” and address the situations quickly so they don’t linger. Work on failing forward faster and taking imperfect action instead. It helps to reduce the pressure to be perfect and allows you to take more risks. This can help you build your confidence, avoid making the same mistake in the future and build self-trust in the process.
Practice self-compassion
It’s important to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Remember that self-trust is a process, and it takes time and effort to develop. When you make a mistake or fall short of your expectations, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. Instead, practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would show to a good friend. This will help you build resilience and strengthen your self-trust over time.
There are so many examples of leaders who put trust in themselves and no matter what anyone said, they did what they thought was right. It isn’t always a perfect outcome, but they took action. They learned and made changes to improve things to make it better. Isn’t that a far better approach than listening to the doubters and naysayers who could prevent you from taking action at all? Put these steps into practice and see how much your self-trust grows!
My role as a coach is to help my clients see how amazing they are so they can build back their confidence. Helping someone to believe in themselves again can change everything for them in all areas of their life. If that sounds like something you need help with, schedule a call with me and let’s get the ball rolling.
Susan M Barber, Author, Podcast Host, Former Fortune 500 IT Director, turned Certified Executive Coach helps business leaders to play bigger, increase their visibility and finally, shine a light on their leadership strengths so they can elevate their position in the workplace. She brings a depth of business knowledge to her coaching from her 25+ years of leadership experience at Kraft Heinz. As the author and podcast host of The Visibility Factor, she is creating a visibility movement for leaders to show their value and be seen for their true talent. Susan is married with three children and lives in the Chicago area.
