Come Prepared: Proactive vs. Reactive Leadership
Have you ever heard the phrase “you get what you give?” In the context of communication, it means however you speak to a person, their inclination is to respond to you at the same level. If you are angry, they will come back with defensiveness and their own anger simply because that is how you spoke to them. It is a reaction that happens very quickly and without much thought. Each person continues to escalate to the next level and may not even reach a resolution.
What if you chose to take a deep breath and respond with curiosity instead of anger? Ask them questions about what is going on for them in the calmest voice possible. Try to understand where they are coming from before you respond to them. Responding with a calm voice automatically starts to bring the other person down from their anger. This obviously takes a lot of intention to respond to them this way when they are angry. It is not your automatic response that you learned over the years.
Unfortunately, a situation like this where someone is angry may be caused by miscommunication or an assumption that was made incorrectly. It can be a challenge to ever find that out if both people react in anger. Bringing down the level of anger and understanding each other’s position will bring a quicker resolution to the problem.
Getting Your Team on the Same Page
One of my clients had a big event planned with her team coming up soon. She was really excited to be leading this and wanted things to be ready to go when everyone arrived. She started getting questions from the group about what they were going to do. It was surprising to her that they were asking all these questions because she had never held an event that wasn’t well thought through and planned.
Sometimes we make assumptions in our head that other people know what we are thinking. In her situation, she assumed that people knew what the topics of discussion would be because she had verbally shared them a few months ago. For the people attending it wasn’t entirely clear if they should prepare things or just show up. Did they have the flexibility to do other things that they may want to do? How much time would be spent on some of these topics?
In my client’s case, we talked about how she could be more proactive with her communication to let the rest of the team know what was happening. She sent out an agenda that let them know what would be discussed, which helped to proactively address the questions that she was getting. For the rest of the team, they could now proactively be prepared for the topics of discussion and not react to them in the room.
Minimize Risks by Being Proactive
If you have ever been part of a team working on a project, you know that there is always risk. Risk mitigation is a critical part of making sure that the project team can handle the scenarios that could happen. Proactive planning gives the team time to think about it and create a plan that they are ready to execute as soon as it is needed. The team can then move forward and focus on other things.
Worrying takes a lot of energy away from you and it will not change anything. Wouldn’t it be better if you took those worries out of your head and did some planning for them so you are ready?
Susan M Barber, President of Susan M Barber Coaching & Consulting, LLC, works with individuals, teams, and organizations to build skills that leaders need to attain breakthrough results. Her passion for coaching and leadership development is driven by seeing the transformation of leaders as they reach far beyond their own ideas of success. She continues to drive custom programs for groups that want to make changes in their careers to become more powerful leaders.
