Becoming the Leader You Want To Be

Susan M. Barber
4 min readDec 10, 2021

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Leadership doesn’t come naturally for everyone.

What is fascinating though is that it isn’t because they aren’t good leaders. It is because they don’t believe that they are good leaders. The critic in their heads can get in the way and it tells them that they aren’t good enough.

This happened to me and now I can see how so many other leaders do the same thing and hold themselves back. Everyone around them can see how great they are doing, but they can’t get past the doubts and imposter syndrome that they feel. Identifying those limiting beliefs, stories, and doubts is a good first step to changing them. Once they are identified, it creates awareness and they can shift their perspective into a more positive view.

Everyone can make the choice to create what they want in their life, they just need to take the first step.

Advocating For Yourself

For people who feel like they can’t say no, being able to ask questions before saying yes is a muscle that needs to be built.

It helps them to maintain their boundaries and not just accept the request. This helps them to build their confidence, advocate for themselves and give them a choice. They get to make decisions and negotiate the request so they can provide the best options that work for them. They may hold off on other work to do this request, they may delegate to someone else, they may say that they can’t do it until next week because they have a higher priority project. There are always options to look at and then make the decision.

Helping leaders use their voice and stand up for themselves is a way for them to be visible.

This empowers leaders to have a conversation and make their own decisions. They don’t have to respond with a yes or a no until they understand the commitment, what it will take to accomplish it, and what is best for them. If you are a leader who struggles to say no to requests, then try using this approach and see how you can be a stronger advocate for yourself and your work.

Stepping Up as a Leader

One day I walked into the office and found out that my manager had been seriously injured. We found out that he was okay, but his recovery would require months out of the office. When my manager’s boss told me this news he offered his support, but in the next breath said he would have minimal time, as he was working on a global program and would be traveling a lot. I knew that meant I was on my own.

Each day there are challenges that leaders must face and some are more challenging than others.

This was an unforeseen moment that forced me to become a bigger leader than I was when I walked into the office that morning. Was I ready for this? There was no choice but to be ready and rely on the help of others when I needed it.

Hopefully, this same situation won’t ever happen to you, but what would you do if something similar occurred?

Would you be ready to lead your team, make all the decisions, and show up in a bigger way? These are the leadership moments that push you out of your comfort zone and allow you to show the capabilities that you have. You have to do more than you thought was possible because there are no other options.

What if you could become that leader now without having something bad happen? You can start playing bigger today. You don’t need to wait for a crisis. What if you played bigger and didn’t seek permission anymore, but took actions that you know need to be done? How do you think you would see yourself in that moment? How would others see you?

I love helping people see themselves in a bigger way. Helping them see the possibilities that are there for them if they just take the action to make it happen. Think about what you could do today to become a bigger leader. Take one action that you know could make a difference in how others see you.

If you need ideas, reach out to me! Let’s create a new way for you to see your leadership so you can begin to step into it right now! Here is the link to set up a time with me for a 30-minute conversation.

Susan M Barber, President of Susan M Barber Coaching & Consulting, LLC, works with individuals, teams, and organizations to build skills that leaders need to attain breakthrough results. Her passion for coaching and leadership development is driven by seeing the transformation of leaders as they reach far beyond their own ideas of success. She continues to drive custom programs for groups that want to make changes in their careers to become more powerful leaders.

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Susan M. Barber
Susan M. Barber

Written by Susan M. Barber

Coaching Leaders to Know and Show Their Value | Author & Podcast Host of The Visibility Factor | Speaker | Former IT Director| https://susanmbarber.com/

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